Happy Birthday Mom!

7 Things I Learned From My Mom

Today is a special day as it’s my mother’s birthday. This is the 7th year my mom has been an angel on her birthday. So today in honor of her and the 7 year mark, I am sharing 7 things she taught me that have helped cultivate me into the woman I am today.

1.       To cook

My mom was the cook in our house and she taught me how. Some of my favorite recipes from my mom are: baked macaroni and cheese, snow cream and her mothers sweet potato pie.

2.       How to be a friend

My mom was the ultimate friend. If one of her friends was sick she would take them to appointments, bring food to their house, visit them and overall be there for them. She prayed for and with her friends every day. When her friends accomplished something she was there with a smile, congratulations and usually a gift or card. If they had a sad moment, she was there with a shoulder to cry on, a hug to embrace them and a listening ear. Our home was always open for people to come to vent, rest or eat. She was always there to assist with her friends children whether it was picking them up from school or going to their programs when they were unavailable. She was a selfless friend as she never expected anything in return. One of the things I admired most about my mom was she had lots of friends both near and far but no matter what she was always there for them and made each one feel as important as the other. In my eyes, she was truly one of the best friends anyone could have. You could always count on Juanita!

3. To never give up and accomplish my dreams

From an early age my mom, along with my dad, was the person who would always push and encourage me to keep going and not give up. She of course encouraged me with smaller things such as learning how to skate or read but it is the big things that had the greatest impact. One of those things was attending Spelman College which was a dream of my mine starting in the 6th grade. My Freshman year, first semester, I was very homesick. After about a month or two at Spelman I was ready to quit and come back home but because of my mom I didn’t. No matter how much I cried or complained she continued to encourage me and insisted that I needed to stay for the entire year before I could consider leaving because for years I dreamed of being a Spelman woman. To this day I will tell anyone attending and staying at Spelman was one the best decisions of my life. It gave me sisters and lifelong friends and definitely helped cultivate me into the woman I am today all because she wouldn't let me quit. It is this trait that she continued to mold into me that has motivated me to continue to pursue this dream and now launch DOMA which I knew I had to do on her birthday.

I found this card while cleaning up. I’m not sure what was happening at the time but as always she was encouraging me. I keep the card on my nightstand and look at it daily.

4.       How to be a wife

Although my mom was not living when I got engaged or married, as I reflect, I can see how she used her actions to prepare me to be a wife. I can remember seeing my mom pray for my dad. I saw her support and encourage my dad with her presence at all of the events he had from when he played on the job softball team and we would go cheer him on at games to architect banquets and building grand openings. Not only did she support him by physically being there, she also encouraged him with her words. She would tell him she loved him daily. As I began cleaning out things I found cards where she wrote words of affirmation to him and spoke life into him. One of the biggest things she taught me was a husband and wife are a team and that you must have God as the foundation. My mom would never make a huge decision that she knew affected our household without talking with my dad. She made sure I knew that she didn’t talk with him for permission but instead to show me that they were a team and she respected him as a person on their team.

5.       Life and death is in the power of the tongue and the meaning of James 3

When I was growing up I had a “smart mouth” and unfortunately got in trouble a lot for running my mouth at the wrong time. As I got older, my mom realized spankings didn’t really bother me so she chose another punishment. She made me read the third chapter of James in the Bible and each time I had to write or verbally give her a “book report.” Talk about torture. Can you imagine having to do this over and over again on the same chapter in the Bible. I can remember thinking to myself the words are the same what else can I report on but she insisted that I obviously hadn’t gotten the message because I was still running my mouth. I did not like it then but now I see she had a greater meaning behind it as she always emphasized the part about life and death being in the power of the tongue and that a spring can’t bring forth fresh and salt water from the same opening. To this day, when I am talking or doing something I often find myself reflecting on this passage and hearing my mom talk to me about ultimately crafting my words to relate to this scripture. Although it was a punishment then, now I can see it was her trying to get me to understand the power in the words I speak.

6.  To pick and choose my battles

I truly believe this was one of my mothers favorite quotes and something that has stuck with me forever. When things would happen, she would always say some things weren’t worth my energy and time and I needed to discern which things to exert my energy on. As I have grown, I have learned how to do this better. I can definitely say this motto has saved me a lot of heartache, stress, worry, time and energy.

7. What having a relationship with God meant

Last, but certainly not least, she taught me the importance of having a relationship with God. She not only told me but she showed me this through her actions. My mom was a praying woman and at an early age she taught me how to pray and explained to me the importance of prayer. Anytime I had a problem, she would always direct me back to the word of God and encourage me with scriptures. She showed me that having a relationship with God was not always about receiving and asking from God but also giving back to him and his church. She instilled in me the importance of serving in ministry and using my gifts, such as singing to glorify God. She also taught me the importance of not only giving to God through my gifts but through my tithes. At the age of 5 she began giving me $5 a week and before I could spend any money I had to take out my tithes and place it in an envelope for Sunday. When my mom was sick she never complained or even questioned why. Instead, she would say may God get the glory out of this. She continued to praise and worship God through her circumstances no matter what they looked like. She would always stress how important it was to have my own personal relationship with God because there would be times when I could depend on no one but Him. I am so thankful for this because I know that it is only because of God that I have been able to live life without her physically here with me.

Of course my mom taught me numerous things but those are the seven I will share today. I am so thankful to my mom for all she taught and showed me and even more thankful that God blessed me with such an amazing woman as my mother. Today mom, I salute you for the woman and mother that you were, Happy Birthday!

I hope you enjoyed this blog and would love to hear from you below in the comments. Feel free to comment below with a message honoring your mom by sharing something she taught you or your favorite recipe from her.